Flirting

Recently since I decided to get my confidence back, I have rediscovered flirting. It's simple flirting, just smiling back when being checked out. And admittedly I do bat my eyes a little. The way it started, it couldn't have come at a better time.

It started by being flirted with at a Walmart of all places. My self esteem and over all well being had been torn and ripped because of marital issues. While looking at clothes with my mom and kids, I looked up and this guy was looking me up and down. I kinda turned my eyes away a little. I mean, come on, I married for petes sake! So I just kinda went around the corner and left it be. A bit later I let my munchkins go wandering with grandma and went to the lingerie section to see what they had. I figured I could at least look at something that might make me feel sexy. So there I am looking at the frumpy pajama pants and the same guy is checking me out again as he's heading into the dressing room. This time I smile back. I couldn't help it. A minute later he comes out in a really nice tight t-shirt( he'd been in his uniform and trying on pants). The guy was rather muscular and VERY attractive. He looks at me and sticks his arms out as if seeking my approval. Next I found myself grinning from ear to ear, raising one eyebrow, giving him my approval. He smiled at me and went back into the dressing room. At that point I realized that I had been flirting back and could feel myself blushing. And what did I do? I speeded off to go and find my kids.

I realized that day that there is something about me he liked. I mean, I am not a tiny woman, but not overly huge. Could say very curvy. The entire week before I had lost every inch of my confidence. It was the first time in a long time that I had smiled and felt good. I felt extremely beautiful. I felt as if there was something about me, something that IS beautiful. Between blushing, getting a little giddy, and flirting back, I did feel a little guilty because I am married. I told my husband that night what had happened. All I got out of him was,"Okay." OKAY?! Barely a reaction. Not anything near what I had hope for or expected. Heck, I would have loved hearing that no wonder the guy was looking at me because I am beautiful. Anything more than okay would have been better. I mean he was part of the reason that I hadn't felt beautiful.

The next few days I was home and trying to bring myself back and hold onto the feeling that I had been given. When you feel wonderful, you don't want to give that up. The next I left the house to go out and do errands, I built myself up a little. Held on to that thought of being beautiful, put on some make-up, and a dash of confidence. I got flirted with again!! This time though, all I did was smile back not only with my lips, but my eyes, and kept on going. Ever since I've been a little bit more confident about myself. I realized that if I feel that way about myself, I didn't need my husband yet anyone else to do it for me. Though even today I couldn't help myself flirting again and enjoying it.

My husband even told me that he likes it when I get out and flirt a little. He likes seeing me happy. He likes seeing a bit of what I used to have. I find it amusing that my husband is encouraging me to go out and flirt. He told me that smiling is okay,but that's pretty much it. I sent him a picture of me yesterday. I had taken the time to do my hair and put on some make-up. Rarely with taking care of two kids, do I have the time to do so. But I did it. My daughter even walked into the bathroom and told me that I am beautiful. I think that she is even taking notice of my new found self. I think that my husband even far away at the moment, is seeing it. When he's got a spare moment at work, he's texting me and flirting with me a little. All I can say is IT'S ABOUT TIME!!